FRAUD ON SMART
I will take a look at Gil Smart’s non-story on Long's Park along with the Adams family tomorrow. Today, I thought I would run an oldie but goodie.
Smart began one of his columns several years ago with the sentence, “So, suppose I was a gay hooker.” You can imagine my joy and it inspired the below “Dr. Fraud Gets Smart!” I think Marv should meet the good doctor soon. After all, it is a Sunday News tradition…
DR. FRAUD GETS SMART!
"Hello, Dr. Fraud. I'm Becky Holzinger, investigative reporter for LIP News."
"I’ve never heard of it. How many readers do you have?"
"We don't have any readers."
"This sounds familiar. Have we met before?"
"I don't think so. Do you have coffee?"
"Oh my. Oh my, oh my."
"Whatever is wrong, Dr. Fraud?"
"I have a new client. He drinks all my coffee. I think he might be stealing it, too."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's a very difficult case. He says he has a large rabbit for a friend."
"Well, isn't that nice."
"No, I mean a really large rabbit. He drinks coffee too."
"The rabbit drinks coffee?"
"So my patient says. The cup is always empty. It's a very difficult case. Would you like some tea?"
"I'd really prefer coffee."
"Fine, since it's your first visit. Do you take milk and sugar?"
"Yes, please. All that you have."
"Aha! You take me for a fool. I thought you looked familiar. You're the one who referred that nut job. It's a very difficult case. The most difficult I've had in my nine months of practice."
"Really, Dr. Fraud. You've said that several times already. I thought you said medication would help."
"Oh, I think he's already quite medicated. I offered him drugs but he said he had plenty. I mean the man has a rabbit as a friend. I even offered to give the rabbit drugs. I see rabbits in my sleep you know?"
"Well that's all very interesting but I'm here for a different reason today."
"Drugs. You decided you want some drugs?"
"No, thank you. I'm here about a man who is a bad newspaper columnist by day and a bad gay hooker by night."
"Is there something unusual about that?"
"Well, he tries to keep the gay hooker thing a secret. He's married after all."
"Ah, an older man?" Dr. Fraud asked.
"No. He has a young son. Actually he works at the same newspaper as your very difficult case."
"Dear God! What is this world coming to? Another one from the same paper? Dreadful."
"What's dreadful, Dr. Fraud?"
"I think I know who you mean. I've read his writing. He's pompous, overbearing and inarticulate. He's an awful writer, indeed."
"Yes, that would be Smart."
"So, you want me to see if I can help him with his writing?"
"Well, no. I was thinking you could work on the whole secret, bad, gay hooker thing."
"Well, I think first things should come first. What about the public who has to read his crap? I was a bit of a writer in college you know. I covered the Fraud Club. I might be able to help."
"Well, if that's where you think you should start. Excellent coffee by the way."
"Does this Smart fellow drink coffee?"
"No, I think he drinks beer."
"Excellent. Does he have any rabbit friends?"
"I don't think so."
"He probably does. Did I tell you that I see rabbits in my sleep? It's a very difficult case."
"Now, Dr. Fraud. I think you need to pull yourself together. After all, you are a distinguished psychiatrist."
"Well, yes I am. Did I tell you that I got my degree over the internet?"
"Yes, you did. After you address the bad writing thing I hope you'll deal with the whole secret gay hooker thing."
"Of course. I'll get the real low-down on him. Ha. Ha. I made a joke. Did you get it?"
"It was hard to miss, Dr. Fraud. I'll send him over to see you."
"I'll sharpen my pencil. Another joke. I'm in good form today."
"Very funny, Dr. Fraud."
"Did I tell you that I count rabbits to get to sleep?"
"I have to run, Dr. Fraud. I'll be back to see how the two of you make out. Did you catch my joke?"
"It was hard to miss. Don't be in a rush to come back."
OUCH!! COMING NEXT: "DR. FRAUD GETS REAL SMART!!!"
"Dr. Fraud on Clyde" is here.
"A Man on the Sidewalk on Clyde" is here.
~ Investigate Him! ~
NO TO TOTARO!
Nothing has shocked me in the last three years as much as District Attorney Donald Totaro. Grand Juries are highly unusual. They are also highly expensive and highly secretive. There have only been three in Lancaster County’s history, and two of those were impaneled by Donald Totaro.
If there is so much criminal activity in Lancaster, why aren’t the Lancaster Newspapers blaring it on their front pages every day?
Totaro’s second Grand Jury was impaneled, according to Totaro, for the following reasons:
Examples of the criminal activity which can best be fully investigated using the resources of the Grand Jury include, but are not limited to, the following: illicit drug enterprises and related activities; racketeering as defined under the Pennsylvania Corrupt Organizations Statute, and unsolved homicides.
Instead of doing the above, Totaro used the Grand Jury for six months to investigate a man’s resume. That’s right. The DA didn’t know if Gary Heinke had committed a crime by falsifying his resume.
Then, for the next six months, he used the Grand Jury to go on a fishing expedition against the commissioners to keep the Lancaster establishment and the Lancaster Newspapers happy.
One year! An investigating grand jury is made up of 23 permanent jurors and 10 alternates. Imagine the expense and time involved. It is simply unbelievable. And what about the items the Grand Jury was impaneled to investigate? Nothing happened. Nothing.
Donald Totaro likes to keep things hush-hush. That’s why he likes Grand Juries so much. He doesn’t have to answer any questions about anything. He can hide flawed investigations and not respond to any questions on anything because the Grand Jury might investigate it. That is unacceptable in a District Attorney and completely and totally unacceptable in a judge. This is America, where the legal process takes place in public view and the public has a right to answers.
Today, with permission, I am reprinting an editorial from NewsLanc.com. These are reasons six and seven that Totaro should never be elected as a judge.
Regarding the FBI, I called the Harrisburg office within several days of Totaro saying they had investigated. I was told over the phone by an agent, who asked to remain confidential, that the FBI never investigated the $7,000,000 paid by the LCCCA to the Stevens & Lee law firm. Never. Totaro lied.
And if the Lancaster Newspapers didn’t have a 50% interest in the hotel/convention center and didn’t always blindly support the “Lancaster establishment,” they would be, and should be, calling for an investigation into Totaro.
5/3/07
Editorial:
Vote No to Donald Totaro for Judge
On at least two high profile occasions, District Attorney Donald Totaro displayed his unsuitability for the office he currently holds, let alone being qualified for the position of county judge.
Totaro kept a grand jury in session for almost a year studying whether the county commissioners had violated the Sunshine Act by holding discussions outside of their public meetings of the possible sales of the Conestoga View Nursing Home. Over almost a year, he took numerous interrogations of the commissioners, causing each of them individually to fear that Totaro knew of some shady dealings of which they were not aware and that somehow they would be implicated.
In fact it was simply a ploy to get them to plead to having committed a violation and to pay a couple of hundred dollars in fines, when in fact the findings of the grand jury virtually exonerated them and castigated the vagueness of the Act itself. And the monopoly Lancaster Newspapers treated Totaro's dubious findings as though it was the crime of the century and succeeded in hounding Commissioner Dick Shellenberger from seeking a second term.
Just as grievously, Totaro ignored the request by the three minority members of the Convention Center Authority (LCCCA) that he investigate the billing of almost $7 million dollars by the law firm of Stevens & Lee without their submitting any information beyond "For Professional Services Rendered." And this was at the time when Totaro was conducting an investigation of the same law firm for allegedly over billing the county by hundreds of thousands of dollars on the Conestoga View transaction.
Totaro's excuse was that the FBI had already looked into the situation. The FBI would not substantiate his statement. And with only a single FBI agent for Central Pennsylvania and without any complaining member of the LCCCA being interviewed, Totaro's explanation lacks credibility.
The public needs a judge who is responsive to the laws and the public, not a tool of the powerful corporate elite. NewsLanc.com recommends its readers reject the candidacy of Donald Totaro.
Totaro’s press release regarding the Grand Jury is here.
NewsLanc.com is here.
Tomorrow, Bill Adams, Marv Adams, Helen Colwell Adams and Gil Smart.
SAY “NO” TO F&M
Franklin & Marshall College, a liberal arts college in Lancaster, Pa., annually gives an award named after an incest perpetrator and academic fraud. The president of the college, John A. Fry, doesn’t care about sexual abuse. He doesn’t care if your daughter or son is sexually abused.
Do not send your children to this over-priced college that condones the sexual abuse of children. They will not be safe. See below and click here for the Incest Story.
~ I’ve had enough of their shit! ~
(EXPLETIVE!)
It is too nice of a day and I don’t have the time to address the whole Heidi Wheaton insanity going on – I will do that later. Let me just say that Jack Brubaker and Ernie Schreiber of the New Era are two of the lowest newspaper hacks known to man.
NOT A DOLLAR!
And while I’m talking about hacks, this is from the Stuckey Martin website (click here) and this is why not a single person should vote for these idiots and not one person should give them a single dollar:
We will oppose anything which weakens the integrity and safety of families.
~ We believe in a culture of life.
~ We will assure that not a dollar of County money goes to support Planned Parenthood.
~ We will stop any attempt to introduce casino gambling into Lancaster County.
26 YEARS OLD!
And speaking of newspapers, the Lancaster ones just go lower and lower with every passing day. This morning’s Intell has a front page story with the headline: “Story takes a twist,” (click here.) This, of course, is about Stacy Snyder. What’s the “twist?” It’s in the lead sentence:
The woman who filed a federal lawsuit against Millersville University after the institution refused to award her a teaching certificate said Friday photos used against her show her drinking alcohol.
Gasp! Shock! That’s not a “twist.” No one ever said it wasn’t alcohol and what the hell difference does it make? The article quotes Snyder:
Snyder said she regrets posting the pictures of her drinking alcohol on the Web site, but she said she doesn't deserve to be punished for them. She was 26 at the time of the party, she said.
"The pictures were taken during a party with less than 20 people at a private residence in April 2006," Snyder said. "We were college students having a party, and people were taking digital pictures.
"Nothing illegal or lewd happened."
End of story. Give her a teaching certificate Millersville University, or pay her huge bucks. The choice is yours.
ONLY EMPLOYEES!
The children of Steinman Enterprises employees and newspaper carriers of Lancaster Newspapers Inc. are eligible for the scholarships.
No kidding? What a hoot! Did you see the article in yesterday’s Intell, “Five seniors receive Steinman scholarships”? (Click here.) I don’t mean to take away from the winners – but here’s what the article says about four of them:
1. His father, an 18-year employee of Lancaster Newspapers
2. Lancaster Newspapers has employed her father, currently the education reporter for the Intelligencer Journal, for 18 years.
3. a newspaper carrier since 2001
4. a newspaper carrier for six years
Maybe they should have said only employees and newspapers carriers are eligible to win the scholarships!
SHIT!
Hamilton replied, "yes," but when Buser approached to shake hands, Hamilton said, "I have had enough of your (expletive). I am not going to take anymore. Let's go downstairs and take care of this man to man. I'm gonna kick your ass."
“Conduct Board reviews official’s behavior,” yesterday’s New Era.
Neither the Intell or the New Era would print the word “shit” in their stories about District Judge Hamilton punching Policeman Robert Buser twice. Can you imagine?
This is being quoted directly from the official charge from the Pennsylvania Judicial Conduct Board and they would not print the word “shit.”
What a hoot! I’m surprised they printed “ass!”
RIGHT TO KNOW!
Finally, a sad and very strange story that began with this ridiculous headline, “’Perfect citizen’ slain” in Thursday’s New Era (click here).
What in the world is going on here and where’s today’s follow-up? The original article linked to above includes the following:
A policeman at the scene who did not give his name said Diener had been shot.
Totaro [Lancaster County District Attorney Donald Totaro] would not confirm that detail this morning.
"It is a homicide investigation," Totaro said.
…He would not say how the homicide happened, whether or not it was random, or if neighbors should take extra safety precautions.
That’s not acceptable, Mr. Totaro. That’s your job – keeping people safe. The neighbors have an absolute right to know. There is no excuse for this whatsoever.
And let’s solve this crime, Totaro.
*** BREAKING NEWS ***
Democrat criticizes Totaro
character, record
By JACK BRUBAKER, New Era Staff Writer
A Democrat this morning launched the final series in an almost three year campaign to expose the deficiencies in the performance and character of Lancaster District Attorney Donald Totaro, an endorsed Republican candidate for judge.
Hey, that’s me! Thanks, Jack! Check this out, “No More Political Hacks!” What about no more newspaper hacks, Harper? Please check back tomorrow...
~ 15 Reasons! ~
INVESTIGATE
TOTARO!
These are the first five reasons, of fifteen, that Lancaster District Attorney Donald Totaro should not be elected a judge, but rather he should be investigated for criminal activity:
1. The Lancaster Lynching Case
See below on this website.
2. Two Grand Juries in four years.
How much did they cost? What did they accomplish? In
his application in February of 2005 for the second Grand
Jury he said this:
Examples of the criminal activity which can best be fully
investigated using the resources of the Grand Jury
include, but are not limited to, the following: illicit
drug enterprises and related activities; racketeering as
defined under the Pennsylvania Corrupt Organizations
Statute, and unsolved homicides.
Was anyone charged with illicit drug activities or
racketeering as a result of these two Grand Juries? How
many homicides were solved? How much did this cost?
3 The Cortney Fry Case.
I posted this shortly before Totaro requested his second
